The Ceremonies and Customs in Marriage of the Shui Ethnic Group
The marriage customs of the Shui (Sui) ethnic group are steeped in tradition, placing great emphasis on legal and formal marriages. This process follows specific customs and rituals, blending community participation and symbolic gestures.
Courtship and Betrothal
Traditional Courtship
Before marriage, young men and women can freely engage in courtship during festivals or markets, often using antiphonal singing to express their feelings. Even if the couple falls in love through this process, marriage must be formalized according to custom, or they risk social discrimination.
Family Approval and Betrothal Gifts
Once a couple expresses mutual affection, a third party informs the heads of both families. If the families approve, the groom’s family engages a matchmaker to present gifts to the bride’s family and formalize the betrothal. A date is chosen for the groom’s family to deliver piglets to the bride’s home, a gesture known as “having informal wine.”
Formal Wedding Ceremonies
The Formal Wine Feast
On the selected formal meeting day, the groom’s family brings pigs to the bride’s home for a more official ceremony, called “having formal wine.” During the feast, songs of proposing toasts are sung, with the hostess initiating the toast. Guests are expected to drink heartily, symbolizing the generosity and goodwill of the hosts.
The Bride’s Departure and Procession
The actual wedding procession begins with the bride, richly dressed, often carrying a red umbrella deliberately torn for symbolic reasons. She leads the procession, followed closely by best men, bridesmaids, and attendants who carry the dowry. In some places, the bride may be carried by her brother to her new home.
The bride typically leaves her parents’ home at noon and arrives at her husband’s home by the evening (around 6 or 7 PM). However, she cannot enter the house until the designated lucky time arrives. Family members of the groom are absent when the bride arrives, and they only return once she has entered the house.
Post-Wedding Traditions
Wedding Night and Temporary Return Home
On the wedding night, the bride does not immediately join her husband but instead sleeps with her bridesmaid. She returns to her parents’ home the following day. Afterward, the groom will formally meet the bride, marking the beginning of their life together.
“Staying Home” Tradition
Some brides return to their parents’ home for one to two months after the wedding. This tradition, called “staying home,” is a remnant of an older custom where brides did not immediately settle into their husband’s home.
Seasonal and Weather Taboos
Certain natural events, like thunderstorms or weather changes, are considered bad omens during the bride’s journey to the wedding, so the Shui ethnic group typically holds weddings in the autumn to avoid such disruptions.
